The opportunity to count my blessings (Ann VosKamp-style) never disappeared, just my desire to do so. I asked for it really. Literally. I asked for a hiatus, a time off, a hushing of the still small voice so I could just whirl and twirl and attempt to settle from this windstorm called a move across the Pacific Ocean. I didn't want any deep spiritual insights. I didn't want to be given anything I couldn't rightly handle. I didn't have time to ponder, much less write. So I asked God for a spiritual sabbatical. He granted it. For almost an entire year all was quiet...until yesterday.
I needed "me time." My red hot iPod and pink ear buds seemed like the perfect escape. I spun my thumb around the little silver disk, highlighted my favorite tune, and pressed that cute sideways triangle...
"In this brawl between the empires
of our good Lord and the liar, will you stand?
Please stand with me."
Wait. This isn't the song I chose...
"'Cause right now my faith can take it
But when they come to take it
Will you pray?
Please pray with me."
"And we'll stand
And pray 'till the dark gives way
And we'll sing, sing, sing, sing, sing."
Just how does God do this? In the spin of a dial, and a press of a triangle button, He takes my selfish pursuits to hide away from "real life" through iPods and ear buds and sings a love song to my soul?
This wasn't the song at the top of my list. This wasn't the song I chose with that silver disk, but it was His choice for me. Some how, some way, He orchestrated this song to shatter the long-held spiritual silence.
"And if doubt and fear conspire
To steal away your fire and leave you cold
I'll stand with you."
He knew. Despite the long silence, He still knew I doubted myself. He knew I feared the future. He knew I felt alone. And He wanted me to know that He knew.
"And we'll stand and pray
'Till the dark gives way
And we will sing, sing, sing, sing sing."
While I ran, He pursued. I hid and He sought. Through the beautiful lyrics of singer/songwriter Shawn Groves, He beckoned me to stand once more and pray...till this I'm-in-a-new-home-and-nothing-is-familiar dark gives way. And He will sing with me. Sing. Sing. Sing. Sing!
Counting comes naturally again. And the dark gives way to thanks for these seven, good and perfect words:
5. you (over me!!)
7. singing! (Zephaniah 3:17)